WHO'S DAMN JOB *IS* IT THEN?! *NOBODY* WANTS TO ACTUALLY HELP THESE DAYS.

i was SUPPOSED to have my ics session about 15 minutes ago, the ics worker called me and asked me before she came to my apartment about what i wanted to work on in our session. i told her that i just got an email from poshmark about one of my shirts being sold and i needed her to help me look for the shirt in my closet in one of the bags with all my clothes i was selling in them. she said, "okay but you should look because i can't go through your things.." so after i got off the phone with her, i looked in my closet in one of the bags and i couldn't really tell at first and i HOPED that ics could help me look at the clothes in the bag better because i didn't wanna fall over. so then she came to my apartment and i told her that i needed to call some lady about my MA because some lady emailed me telling me that it wasn't her job to help people with MA but she can just tell me who to call. it feels like i've already called the lady but then i'm not sure if my memory just put false memories in my head like it tends to do. then the ics worker walked with me to my room to look at the bags to see if i could find the shirt then she said to me, "i told you to look through the bags.. it's not my job to look through your things." wtf? i thought it was your job to assist me with daily living tasks.. then she says, "this isn't one of your goals." the ONLY "goal" that i'm aware of is to assist me in finding an apartment in massachusetts or new york. so that really isn't fair. i called the lady that i was emailed to call to see if she could help me with it and i got a voice mail.. i don't remember if i called her already because like i said, i thought i remembered doing it but that may be false. the ics worker didn't help me with that either. she left my apartment and said, "it's not one of your goals, so it's not my job to help you with it." i closed the door and said to myself, "fine. what the hell IS your job then?" all these fuckin pca's, ics workers, and other people PAID to assist disabled people DON'T DO THEIR DAMN JOBS. what's new? i can't find a place where i actually get help that's truly beneficial ANYWHERE. all these home health aids, pca's, and ics workers are all the SAME. they just play on their damn phones and sit in the fucking offices acting like they're doing their damn jobs. THEY IGNORE THE FACT THAT I HAVE A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY WHICH DOES ACTUALLY REQUIRE A LITTLE BIT OF ASSISTANCE TO HELP ME LIVE SUCCESSFULLY AND CONSTRUCTIVELY. just because i require assistance to do things does NOT mean i should just get assistance when it's convenient or beneficial for the person supposedly helping me. YOU'RE GETTING PAID TO DO A DAMN JOB- DO IT.
i also scheduled an interview on thursday with some guy about doing data entry.